Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?