Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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