i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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