it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
