My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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