i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
