she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?