I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we're making bets on your personal life
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda