Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.