My first STD was from a foam party
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.