I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
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just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out