So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing