who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
