Soap is not a condiment
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
