thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
