After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
