I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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