Where are you?
In a non slutty way
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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