I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
