worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dear god my vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
