dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
