i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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