just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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