pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
