Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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