yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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