JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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