Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
