Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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