Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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