YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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