i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
