i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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