in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
