2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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