blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
