Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
