quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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