the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
