i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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