I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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