i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize