So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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