Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
