I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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