K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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