No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
