i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
