Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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