I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MIDGETS
????
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
