Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize