We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize