Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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