He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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