dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
