What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
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I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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