32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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