all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
