I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
