My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
