I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
